The Spirit of Sacrifice in Family Life
Summary of Headings
- The World's Attack on Family
- Understanding True Family Life
- The Missing Ingredient: Sacrifice
- God as the Glue in Marriage
- The Cross as a Model for Family
- Raising Children with Sacrificial Love
- The Role of Prayer in Family Unity
The World's Attack on Family
I was reading an article just yesterday about a new statistic that is showing that young women are deciding in droves not to get married. Rather they're getting married later in life or they're choosing not to get married at all. And the explanation of the article was that this is because of how they've been treated in relationships. Or they've become disenchanted by it. But it's much more than that. It's because of how the world portrays everything to do with family. How they portray marriage. How they portray husband versus wife. How they portray so many aspects of marriage, family, having children.
Everything about it. They portray it in some very negative light. How children are such a burden and how they ruin your life and how it becomes such a difficulty to live. How a husband is just a demanding, insufferable ogre who's insensitive to everything that you want and need, etc., etc., etc. They go on and on like this. And they capitalize on all the imperfections of any sort of a human institution to be able to condemn and destroy. Because the thing the world hates most, apart from our Lord Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church, is the family. They hate it most.
And so after the world has attacked and destroyed Christendom through the Protestant Revolution and through the many revolutions that followed. The French Revolution started the ball rolling. And through everything else that has gone on since then, they have gone after the family. They have tried to destroy the church. They've destroyed and undermined the church. They've destroyed and undermined so many aspects of society. But now they are finally going after the family in the most vehement and destructive way. This attack on the family started a long time ago. A century ago. Probably more. But now they can unload on the family with all of its fury and all of its vengeance. And the reason that they can say things like this, and the reason that they, the, there's this massive move away from marriage and the family, is because of a fundamental misunderstanding of what the family is.
Of what the family is supposed to be. Now I apologize, usually for Mother's Day there's a lot more tender explanations of motherhood. But this is part and parcel of it. You can't have motherhood without family. You cannot. Because, yes of course physically, whatever. But motherhood as it's supposed to be is supposed to be within the context of a family. There is supposed to be a family which is a man and a woman married and therefore a stable society. A stable union that has been created by God himself.
Understanding True Family Life
A family is supposed to be a cohesive unit. It is supposed to be people who work together for a common good. They are supposed to be individuals, yes, but collaborators together for something greater than themselves. An individual has very limited goals. An individual has a limited goal of improving oneself, of growing in virtue, of getting to heaven. But a family has much greater goals because a family is the building block, the foundation of a society entirely. They are the force of sanctification throughout the world. They are a power of our Lord Jesus Christ. They are an instrument of our Lord Jesus Christ himself all throughout the world. And so therefore it is necessary, all the more necessary now, that we consider and contemplate what it means to be in a family. And what is the essential ingredient that the world always leaves out while they are painting this very bleak image of what marriage is. This very bleak
image of what a relationship is, what children are. While they are painting it in the worst possible light and doing as much damage as they possibly can, what is the thing that they leave out? Because unfortunately it is very true that there are lots of problems in human nature. Men tend to be less sensitive than women. That's actually part of the design of God. It's not necessarily their fault. They can be better, of course. But it is a part of the situation. Women can be probably a little too emotional and too detail -oriented for men's tastes. But that again is part of the package.
There is something in modern society that despite the fact that we are supposed to be accepting of all of the sins of the world, we cannot tolerate each other's imperfections whatsoever or we cannot put up with them whatsoever and we cannot commit to somebody who has those imperfections.
The Missing Ingredient: Sacrifice
There is something in the world that is missing for us to be able to actually live and bear somebody else's burdens. There is something in the world that is missing for us to be able to actually live and bear somebody else's burdens. There is something in the world that is missing for us to be able to actually lead someone who he isn't. There is something in the world that does not allow us to be able to give, freely, to that other person what they need and to support them no matter who they are, no matter what imperfections they have. What is the essential ingredient that they are missing?
In a word, sacrifice. The spirit of sacrifice has left this world wholly and entirely. entirely, and that is on purpose, because it's the one thing the devil cannot stand. He hates it above all things. The sacrifice is the giving of oneself, and that is something the devil cannot abide, because, of course, he is the monster of pride. Everything is for himself, not the gift of self, which is why he could not comprehend the crucifixion of our Lord. He couldn't understand it, and this is why the world cannot understand motherhood or fatherhood, because it is a life of sacrifice. They cannot understand marriage. It is a bond of sacrifice. In his great book, Fulton Sheen has called, on marriage, called Three to Get Married, he points out that there are two people in the marriage who are not married. They are not married. They are not married. They are not married.
God as the Glue in Marriage
But there is a third element, and that is God. He is the glue that binds the two lives together, the two individuals into forming an entirely new creation, which is the family, which is the marriage, which is why what God has put together, let no man put asunder, because God is the glue that holds them together. That is why everything about the family is supposed to be a life of sacrifice, because even though you maintain your individuality, in a marriage, you give up purely self -seeking, individualistic mentalities. And now you live not just for yourself, but you live for the community of your family. That is your life now. And of course, the world sees that as an evil thing, as a bad thing, but it's not.
It's not. It's supposed to be. It's supposed to be something that is born of generosity and love, because sacrifice, the truth of sacrifice is that it is the principal element of love. It is the principal act, I should say, of love. Without love, there is no sacrifice. This is why the ultimate act of love, of course, is the crucifixion. It is the mass, not only because it was done, performed by love, itself, but because it was done by God. It is the crucifixion. It is the mass, not only because it was done by God itself, but because it is also born entirely and generously out of the love for each and every one of us.
Christ's words on the cross, Father, forgive them, they know not what they do, express that as clearly as possible. But also how much it cost him is expressed in two different sentences. The first one is in the Garden of Olives where he said, if it were possible, let this chalice pass from me. It was so overwhelming. What he had to suffer, that he actually asked if it were possible to take it away, but then he, of course, out of the love for us, he fully accepted the suffering. Not my will, but thine be done. This must be the prayer of every family. It must be the prayer of every father, of every mother, of every child. This must be the prayer of every family, each and every day.
You get up and you embrace your cross. You accept the trial, the trials that are given to you. You accept the sacrifices that are asked of you, no matter what they may be. You embrace them wholeheartedly because that is what the very essence of the sacrifice of marriage and the sacrifice of family is. It is something crucial to understand. And it's something the world cannot comprehend. Not remotely. How do we change that in our lives? Because we have to be honest. We are creatures in this world. And even if we are not of this world, we still have some of the affliction of the world.
We are still selfish. We are still egotistical. We are still not perfect yet. We are not the holy family. So how do we get closer to the example of what the family is supposed to be? And it always boils down to the same question. That is why we say, I'm aったuxel, cumplistas en ti pel Redemption. We understand our roles in a family in the spirit of sacrifice. Men and women are not the same. They have different roles and each family has different aspects of those roles. It's not a straight division of labor. Or of a position or anything else. But it is something that the two have to support each other.
And they cannot do so, if they do not work together. But they cannot work together
The Cross as a Model for Family
if they do not love and respect each other as they are supposed to. Because they are supposed to strive for something bigger than themselves. It is a cross. But the cross is a blessing, not a curse. The world sees suffering as a curse. Christ transformed suffering into something truly glorious and salvific. That is the story of the cross and that is the story of every family. When a woman gives birth, of course, it is something that is painful. It is something that is violent. You can all thank Adam and Eve for that. What was supposed to be just pure beauty and light turned into something very painful.
But through that pain comes life. Just like on the cross. Christ's pain and suffering and his death brought life into this world. The life of grace. And you all can participate in that. You have that power. That is a beautiful thing. And the world hates it. And they will do everything they can to violently fight against it. And to turn you against it. To make you feel bad about it. And feel like it is something repugnant to yourself. Lastly, we have to understand that because we understand or we should understand and we should be trying to sanctify our marriages through a spirit of sacrifice and gift of self.
That we are not supposed to just hoard that spirit and that spirituality to ourselves. Charity is self -effusive. It gives of itself. The reason God created is because he is love. And so he shares that love with creatures. And so he shares that love with people. The reason that marriage exists is because it is a bond of love. Therefore, it is a gift from God. A good marriage can save an entire civilization. Good families are what are going to save this world. A couple of weeks ago, I talked about how necessary the priesthood is. And it is. But let's not forget that. Let's not forget the other social sacrament that exists.
And that is marriage. It is necessary. Good marriages are necessary. But good marriages are impossible without a spirit of sacrifice. The world needs heroes. The world needs heroes. And most heroes are the people who just quietly do their duty every day with that love that is supposed to be the inspiration for their actions. And again, I speak mainly to the parents. And yes, of course, especially the mothers. Happy Mother's Day. But I'm also speaking to children. You want to learn how to be a good person and how to be a saint. It is the spirit of sacrifice that is going to give that to you.
Parents, you must instill this in your children. Show them how to overcome themselves. Their natural selfishness. Their natural desire for what makes them happy
Raising Children with Sacrificial Love
and to teach them how to look for the common good and something more important and more beneficial. And how to do it out of love. And not just obligation. Not just because they're worried about what the punishment might be. Teach them to go outside of themselves and to look and to try to give more of themselves to something else. Teach them to be sacrificial. Teach them to sacrifice themselves. Because one of the reasons why we have a decrease in marriages, even in our own chapel, is because it's harder and harder for relationships to work precisely because those children have never learned that lesson.
They've never learned to be generous. They've never learned to sacrifice for the other. They've never learned to give themselves to someone else. And therefore, there is no possibility of love. Real love. Not sentimental love. What Bishop Williamson used to say is, love with a U. It is something so much more. It is the love of Christ on the cross. It is the love of God in creation. It is the love of a mother giving birth. It is the love of a father going to work every day. It is the love of a child doing his duty because he wants to please somebody else and he wants to make the house function.
It is the everyday constant sacrifices that bind us to the message of God. It is the love of God that binds us to the Mass and to the cross. And it is given to us and inspires us through those things, through the contemplation of the cross, which is why the family must have a prayer life. Not just the individuals, but the family. The family must have a prayer life together in common because that bond to the Mass, that bond to the sacraments, is necessary to learn how to sacrifice ourselves, to overcome ourselves for the common good. The world needs you. The world needs you.
To be those heroes. To make that effort each and every day. And to be willing to sacrifice oneself out of the love of God, out of love for each other, and out of love for this world that so desperately needs it. The price is high, of course. But so is the strength and the grace that is given to you. I cannot insist enough on the power of the sacramental grace of marriage and how it overcomes every possible difficulty and allows us to overcome our own, our own pain and suffering and selfishness to be able to sanctify ourselves and our families and society with those difficulties.
To put up with each other's imperfections. Leaving dirty dishes in the sink yet again. Not making the bed yet again. Whatever it may be. Whatever it may be. Putting up with each other in the small things and in the big things. Overcoming ourselves in every possible way. But without the spirit of salvation, without the spirit of sacrifice, those things will be empty and dry and repugnant. But with the spirit of sacrifice, with the spirit of God, who is the glue in your marriage, who is the glue in your family, who is the one thing that can actually elevate your marriage into something that can save souls, yours first of all, and save your family and make the family something fruitful
The Role of Prayer in Family Unity
that shares grace around the world. The one thing that can do so is the holy sacrifice of the Mass. Bind yourselves to it. Love it. Appreciate it. Contemplate it. And live it each and every day. In union with the Blessed Sacrament, we may be able to save this world from all of the damages and unite our family eternally in heaven. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.
Summary
The homily begins by addressing the societal shift away from marriage and family, attributing it to a negative portrayal by the world. This attack on family is seen as part of a broader assault on Christian values. The preacher emphasizes the importance of understanding the true nature of family, which is rooted in sacrifice. This self-giving love is essential for the cohesion and sanctification of the family unit. Finally, the homily calls for families to embrace a life of prayer and unity, drawing strength from the sacraments to overcome challenges and live out their vocation with love and sacrifice.